MOM!

Moooooooommy!

Mama, Mama, Mama!

You know those days when you hear your name so many times it starts to sound funny. So many times you think you just might scream. Days when the fighting is never ending and the screaming doesn't cease. With 4 children, I have those days a lot! I hear Mom! Followed by, "he hit me", "he took my Lego!", "he's being mean to me".  Believe it or not, I'm already hearing, "Jossalyn hit me.....again!"

I can admit  there are days when I complain. I'm human. My flesh gets the best of me. I stop hearing "all things joy". But my Lord quickly nudges me. He has blessed me with 4 healthy children here on this earth.  When they are fighting, screaming, crying....I must stop and think, at least I have these children to hear fighting, screaming, crying.

One of my darling sons has a hard time going to bed. He gets himself all worked up. Daddy-O and I tell him a few things each night after we pray with him. One of which is that his actions are a choice. Well isn't this true for everything. It's all about perspective. 

"Joy is a function of gratitude - and gratitude is always a function of perspective." -Ann Voskamp

One day these sweet children will grow up. I will long for those screams. I will long to hear someone calling for Mommy at any given hour of the day or night. So while these days may be exhausting and even if I actually do scream, I am going to cherish every moment....every argument! Instead of balking when someone else needs me at 2 am, I'm going to get up and fill that need...no matter how ridiculous it may be.  Instead of wishing it was just Daddy-O and me in our king size bed, I will welcome the one who has a bad dream. Whatever it may be....ALL THINGS JOY.

Millis Road Field Trip Fun

 One of the many things I love about homeschooling is the fun field trips we take with smaller groups!  A few families went to the Millis Road Health Center.  They do an educational activity with the kids then set them free in this fun playroom!  Here are a few pics from our day!

Pray and Vote

I packed my kids up this morning and off to the polls we went.  We were in and out.  It really took no time at all.  I am so thankful for the right to vote.  I am, though, saddened at what this day is doing to so many people.  Yes, your views may differ from those of your neighbors.  Yes, you may vote FOR Amendment One while they vote Against.  But tomorrow, you will still be neighbors.  Tomorrow, regardless of what the ballots show, we will trudge on.  I will readily admit that I am a little afraid of what today's vote may bring.  A sweet friend and I jokingly discussed this morning going on TV and voicing our opinion on the matter.  But in the end, it won't matter what you post on facebook.  It won't matter what those people standing on the side of the road holding a sign say.  It won't matter what ANY of the best blogs say to do.   God's will WILL be done. PERIOD.

May2, 2010

Granted it was just after midnight, but it was the day I gave birth to our 4th son, Jordan. It was also the day we said goodbye to our 4th son.  I can't even express the emotion that goes along with that. Unless you've experienced it, I don't think you can. A friend of mine just lost her brother and the best way I could explain it to her was surreal.

You have plans for your life. Plans that involve people. The way you think your life will go. The road you think you will travel.

That doesn't always happen.  We live in a fallen world. There will be pain. There will be heartache.  But the God who spoke this world into existence is the same God who heals the broken hearted, Jehovah-Rapha. The God who gives and the God who takes away.  As C.S. Lewis says, He is not safe, but He is good.  God is ALWAYS good.

So today, 2 years after saying goodbye to my sweet Jordan. I am remembering him. His sweet face. Hs smell.  The memories we could have shared.  But I'm also remembering how far I've come over these last 2 years. The road I did travel.  How my relationship with the Lord has strengthened. How Daddy-O and the boys relationships with the Lord has strengthened. 

Life is not always fair.

Questions are not always answered.

But God is ALWAYS good.

Going to the Lodge

We are at our second annual trip to the Great Wolf Lodge. This is actually our third time coming but started last year at the anniversary of losing Jordan. It's a good way to celebrate our family...think about where we've been, what we've been through, how far we've come. In many aspects of our life, but mainly over the past two years.  The kids look forward to this trip. They love the water and we discovered yesterday that Joss loves it too! She is fearless! Good thing she has 3 over protective big brothers! 

I woke up this morning with a lump in my throat. It's so hard to believe that 2 years ago today I woke up and headed to the hospital praying that what I was afraid was true, really wasn't. It's hard to believe that we have come so far since that sad, dark day. It's hard to believe that at 32 and 33 years old (and 8, 6, and 6 as well) we have endured the pain we have endured. But just as the Lord commanded, we persevered. We did our very best to be obedient. I thank Him daily for bringing us through that valley of pain. That pit of darkness. I know, beyond a shadow of doubt, that it pained our Lord to see us hurt so badly because I know how badly my heart hurts to see my children in pain. 

I still miss my sweet Jordan. My arms will always ache to hold him. But I know that I will hold him. I know he will be waiting for me on that glorious day I go home to be with Jesus.  And while here on earth, I have 4 beautiful children that the Lord has blessed me with. I am so thankful. Thankful for where I've been. Thankful for where I'm going. Thankful for those who are walking with me, encouraging me, loving me. I'm thankful for the lives I am able to change because of my circumstances.

As Ann Voskamp said, "I want to see beauty. In the ugly, in the sink, in the suffering, in the daily, in all the days before I die, the moments before I sleep."

I have more I *want * to say today....but these sweet kids want to take a trip to the gift shop before the water park opens. So until tomorrow, here are a few pics of the kids.

Yesterday at the park.

This morning when they first woke up. Camron's funny face is because he was about to yawn! I think I caught Joss mid-blink!  Love the bedhead!