Ok, I don't know if I have the words to blog about this. It has been on my heart and after reading 2 other blog posts by adoptive moms who say it so well, I may just have to give you the links and let you read their beautiful words so you can get the jist of it. Or try anyway. Because unless you have adopted a child of another race, or ARE of another race yourself. You really won't understand. Please don't take this the wrong way. I am not in any way trying to sound ugly. I'm just trying to be honest.
I will start by saying I have said things in the past like "I don't see color". Ok, by that, I meant I don't discriminate. I, thank God, was brought up in a racially diverse area with parents who were by no means prejudice. That's all well and good BUT, the difference is there. One of my best friends and I have had discussions regarding the differences between African American and Caucasian people and I never fully understood the things she said to me. I understood to the best of my ability... as a white woman with a white husband and white children.
Pause for just a moment....I need to say this publically...
Tamara, I am SO sorry. I must have sounded just like everyone else! I'm sure I sounded uber naive! While I will never "get" it the way YOU "get" it, I get it way more than I ever thought I did!
Enter Jossalyn. As a white mom, I didn't really realize the subtle discriminations that are really everywhere. For example, I went to get the kids books at Lifeway for Easter and had a very hard time finding a book with a brown child in it. I did find one, mind you, but it wasn't easy. As for dolls, good luck with that! You better grab one while you see it because there are no where near as many brown dolls as white ones! Take magazine ads, other than a few companies who are very good about having racially diverse as well as portraying handicapped children in their line, it is slim pickin's to see a cute little brown girl sportin' these top of the line clothes! Why? I wish I could answer that question! While this world has come a long way in equality and discrimination, there is such a long ways to go. It. breaks. my. heart.
I think of things I never would have thought before. I wonder things I never would have wondered before. Do these little girls and boys see the differences? I don't know. I can only pray that I can do the best job possible in raising ALL of my children so they can deal with situations that are sure to arise. Conversations that are going to occur, to the best of their ability, in a manner that will be pleasing to the Lord.
I pray that those of you who read this will not take it the wrong way. I may have. Before I had a brown daughter. It's just the reality of the world.
You can read the other two blogs here:
3 comments:
Love you and love her. I'm so glad God allows us to see color, see differences, and see one other's beauty.
I loved your post. I love to see you holdin and lovin that sweet girl of yours. Love your thoughts and honesty!
I'm laughing a little because I was saying "amen" in my head reading this post and then was so surprised to see a link to our blog at the bottom!! :) Thanks for the compliment!
I have some apologies to make too. I have a little blog post going on in my head about some confessions I need to make about how I used to think about race.
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