Almost....

It's hard to believe that it has almost been a year since we lost our Jordan. I remember all the details vividly. As if it just happened.
So much has happened. So much has changed. My heart still hurts. I will always have an empty spot for my son. At the same time, my heart is bursting at the seams with love and happiness. I really can't even explain my emotions to be quite honest.
I know I am grateful.
Grateful for the friend who has checked on me faithfully each month, to the date, since Jordan died.
Grateful for the phone call a day or so ago reminding me of many of the good changes that have occured this year.
Grateful for the card I got in the mail yesterday that was perfect and spoke deeply to my heart.
Grateful for the email I got this morning that God timed perfectly, as always.
Grateful for a husband who understands my coo-coo bird emotions and is dealing with them accordingly.
Grateful for my parents who bend over backwards always but even more so right now. Which I know is because they want me to be happy at this potentially sad time.
Grateful for my kids who seem to know that Mommy needs extra cuddles, snuggles and lovin' right now.

Eucharisteo.
It's a different feeling.
To be grateful.
Not to just say it.
But to live it.
To be it.